never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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