You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
