so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He passed out mid-signature
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
