I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
