I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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