My cat gives me a boner
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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