Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
