Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
