WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
