You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
