i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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