i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
