i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
