i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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