you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
