Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
