You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
