HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
