If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
