rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
