If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
