Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
