When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
vagina is talking i cant
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
