I'm eating all of the evidence.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
