i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
