first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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