You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
