I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
