Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
