So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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