Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize