oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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