So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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