i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
