Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
