Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
