After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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