I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
