Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
