just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
