he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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