So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
