honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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