I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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