she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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