I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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