I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
