like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
