Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
