There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
