He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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