I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
