Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
