Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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