I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
