he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
