A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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