I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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