people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
