He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
