i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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