those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Who died my cat blue again?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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