YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
