Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
