After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
