So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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